It’s that time of year again, back to school time! It’s the time of year when we sent the youth of our nation, the future of our civilization, to failing institutions of lower learning. To be fair, not all public schools are failing, some are quite good; unfortunately, many are quite bad. Most failing schools are located in big metropolitan or urban areas, when big metropolitan bureaucracies mismanage everything. Despite armies of government workers compensated handsomely with good salaries, benefits, and pensions, government run schools continue to fail miserably.

You might think that public schools underperform because mean old conservatives cut their funding to lower taxes. This is simply not the case. Public schools are funded better than ever, public schools outspend private schools nearly 2 to 1. (1) In 2004-05 the District of Columbia spent over $15,000 per student! DC could send every kid in public school to the University of Maryland for half the price. Maryland’s tuition is $8,000 per year, that $7,000 less for a University! (2) Public schools in Utah spend only $5,200 per student per year. Where is all the money going? (3)

Judging from the test scores in Washington, it’s not going to education. Student’s proficiency in each of the three major education groups’( math, reading and science) are below 50% in DC. (4) That was an improvement from previous years; so what do DC public school kids and parents get for $15,000 a year? A really good daycare service?

Unfortunately, DC public schools don’t do that well either. During the 2007-2008 school year, there were 912 incidents of violent crime at DC schools, including one homicide. Compared with DC private schools where there were only 28 incidents during the same period. Gun shots were reported 49 times at public schools, there were 1338 incidents of property crime, and 446 reports of theft. (5) Your kids would be safer in prison! You would think for 15 grand they could invest in some rent-a-cop’s or surveillance cameras. Heck, for $15,000 a head they could hire the entire 7^th Calvary to patrol the schools with M-16’s and artillery.

To review, DC tax payers spend $8.25 billion annually on public schools and for their billions they get schools that not only fail to educate kids in core subjects, but also fail to protect kids from violence and crime. Why not just let the children of DC roam the streets during the day? It would be safer.

So what is it that DC public school kids do all day, besides assaulting people, stealing from one another, shooting firearms, or partaking in general mayhem? Unlike those backward, academics obsessed private schools, DC schools ensure their students are well versed in all things sexual. By 5^th grade students know all about STD’s and how to prevent them. (6)By 6^th grade students are taught about ‘sexuality’ and reproduction (including contraceptives). In 7^th and 8^th grade the same kids that do not understand core subjects are taught about sexual orientation, including the proper terminology.  Finally, by 9^th grade students are taught about contraceptive practices and the availability of abortions. (7)

At least they’re covering the basics, but colleges usually require at least some knowledge of standard academics as a prerequisite. Here’s an idea, try blending subjects that schools do well with, with subjects schools don’t do so well with. For example, sex education and math. Teachers could prepare lesson plans that deal with both subjects simultaneously.

Math XXX

1.      If you have sex 4 days a week, two times each, for 8 weeks, how many condoms do you need?

2.      If you have 34 sexual partners, and 2 have a sexually transmitted disease, what percentage of your partners carries an STD?

3.      Jane is traveling 36 miles at 45mph to the Planned Parenthood clinic for an abortion, Suzie is traveling 51 miles at 65mph to the clinic, if they leave at the same time, who will arrive first?   

Some students in DC have the option to attend private school under a federal pilot program for school vouchers, or at least they did. In March, Congressional Democrats moved to eliminate the program, thus returning kids to their failing public schools. This insanity is compounded by the fact that 44% of Senators and 36% of Representatives in Congress either send or have sent a child to private school. Apparently, what’s good for the goose is not so good for the gander.